The Evolving Landscape of Japanese Wedding Traditions

Weddings can offer fascinating windows into different cultures, with each aspect telling a special story. From attire to social interactions, cuisine, and activities enjoyed during these celebrations, all of these elements reveal something about the cultural fabric they stem from.

Modern Japanese weddings tend to be a blend of Japanese etiquette and formality with a contemporary makeover that shifts them toward being a more Western-style event. In fact, traditional Shinto weddings account for only 10-20% of ceremonies in Japan while the rest are Christian-style ceremonies, despite most Japanese people not identifying as Christian.

But while modern Japanese weddings have been fairly Westernized, some aspects still reveal glimpses of historical traditions that stretch back centuries. Let’s take a peek into the different traditions that make a traditional Japanese wedding so unique:

Yuinou

Japanese families traditionally have what is known as a yuino, or betrothal ceremony. During this ceremony, the two families of the to-be-weds exchange gifts with one another. That is, the family of the bride shares gifts with the family of the groom, and vice-versa. Common venues for this event are the bride’s family home or a private room in a traditional restaurant. Brides usually wear a style of kimono known as furisode, which only unmarried women wear.

The gifts presented at this ceremony are often imbued with symbolism. Some of the gifts that are commonly exchanged include konbu seaweed (as the word konbu is a homonym for ‘child-bearing woman’), a piece of white hemp cloth (representing a long relationship), and a folding fan (which spreads open like the future wealth and growth the couple will share). The main gift, however, has traditionally been money, which is placed inside a special envelope known as goshugi-bukuro with gold and silver strings that can’t be untied.

Sake-sharing 

Along with vows and wedding rings, a cup of sake is also traditionally exchanged during wedding ceremonies. This is known as ‘san san kudo,’ or more formally, ‘sankon no gi.’ This is a gesture that holds great significance in traditional Shinto rituals, and the exchange of sake can be seen in many other Japanese traditions. By sharing sake from the same cup, the couple and their families acknowledge their strong union. There are three sizes of cups: a small one representing the past, a medium one for the present, and a large one for the future. These three symbolize gratitude for one’s ancestors, an aspiration to unite in marriage, and the wish to build a happy family and eternal love.

Auspicious Dates

As the last traditions have shown, Japanese weddings include heavy symbolism, and that even extends to the wedding date itself. Couples will often consult a fortune-telling calendar, or rokuyo, to find the most auspicious day for their union.

Bouquet and Letter Presentation 

Among the most heartwarming moments in a Japanese wedding ceremony is the presentation of a bouquet, or hanataba, towards the end of the reception. Traditionally, the bride and groom offer this to their parents. Following this gesture, the bride reads a letter to her family, an emotional highlight that often leaves many attendees in tears.

Wedding Gifts

The most common gift given at Japanese weddings is money, which is traditionally wrapped in a special cloth known as goshugi-bukuro, similar to the yuinou ceremony. Depending on one’s relationship to the to-be-weds, the amount of one’s gift can vary, but there are a few rules to follow: 1) all bills should be crisp and new ¥10,000 bills; 2) they must be presented in a goshugi-bukuro; and 3) the amount should not be divisible by two, as that can be easily split by the couple.

At Japanese weddings the bride and groom aren’t the only ones to receive gifts, however, as the guests do too! Known as hikidemono, guests receive gifts of gratitude for their presence in the couples’ lives. These generally tend to be small, about 10% of the goshugi, but mean a lot nonetheless.

Additionally, it's not just the bride and groom who receive gifts at Japanese weddings. Guests are also presented with gifts of gratitude known as hikidemono, which are tokens of appreciation for their involvement in the couple’s life. These gifts generally tend to be small, about 10% of the goshugi, but are nonetheless meaningful.

Dress 

As one might guess, the traditional garb of brides and grooms in Japanese weddings aren’t suits and dresses, but formal kimono. Brides often wear a wataboshi or tsunokakushi, which are large white hats that serve a similar purpose to veils in Western weddings.These hats can be styled in various ways, and it's common for brides to wear wigs underneath them. Additionally, it's customary for brides to wear multiple kimonos throughout the ceremony, starting with white and transitioning to more colorful options. This ritual is known as oironaoshi, or 'changing colors' and symbolizes the bride's readiness to adapt to her new life and its varying circumstances.

About the author: 

Kevin Kilcoyne

The spark that lit Kevin Kilcoyne’s interest in Japanese culture began in elementary school through a friendship with his then classmate Keisuke. Since then, that passion has evolved and bloomed to encompass more than just video games and manga, leading Kevin to live in Japan as a participant of the JET program. During his time in Japan, Kevin sought out as many foods as he could, the experiences and taste memories lingering long after they had gone. Now he is forging a path to link his passions for Japanese food, history, and visual culture and is planning for his return to live in Japan once again. For now, you can find Kevin on Instagram (@waruishouten) where he posts his photography and illustration work. Keep an eye out for more posts and updates as Kevin delves more deeply into his passions for writing and food.